This note was my response to an article by Spring Zheng: You are what you think. - Uday
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You have touched on the very important aspects of emotional intelligence – mirroring, rephrasing, motivation, and role models.
The Mirroring method is called empathetic listening. When a person makes a statement, you simply reflect back not just the words but the feeling and beliefs that the person has or holds, eg.,
‘I hate you…’ is mirrored as ‘You feel intense dislike for me.’
‘I am a failure’ is mirrored as ‘You believe you have failed.’
Mirroring gives us a chance to be in touch with the situation without aggravating it. You acknowledge the feelings and believe without subscribing to it. Plus, it puts the onus on the other to clarify, modify, acknowledge, or deny what was said earlier. Through mirroring, you help the other person to move beyond the feelings and come down to the level of facts.
Rephrasing is the method of converting negatives into positive or factual statements, eg.,
‘I can’t finish this on time,’ can be rephrased as ‘I choose to do it on time.’
‘I am dead beat’ is best rephrased as ‘I had a good workout’.
A good instance of rephrasing is about the boy who was asked by the policeman whether he was lost. The boy flatly replied: I am here. It’s my parents who are lost!
Rephrasing helps us to move beyond our beliefs by changing the way we see them. We choose to accept our beliefs, to challenge them, or to simply reject them as unproductive or counterproductive. Rephrasing makes us aware that we are not victims of our beliefs, and can choose to be different.
Motivation is the ability to be in touch with what you value, love, and care for. You visualize what you love, capture your dreams, write it down on paper, and put it where you can see and remind yourself constantly. You consistently work on ways to make the dreams, practice them mentally, and visualize success and celebration. You think of possible obstacles and work on ways to avoid, minimize, or overcome them. You keep an array of positive thoughts and pictures around the hose and in your diary.
Motivating yourself does not guarantee your reaching your goals. Rather it makes your success the most probable outcome by increasing the factors contributing to your success. Motivation is the driving force in the nature of exercising your will. It is the will power related to the heart. This motivation has to channelized into productive directed action. This is ensured by consulting the road map and the compass and is the domain the head. The head has eyes, and the heart has legs. One without the other is incomplete. Together, they complement each other to fulfill your dreams.
Synergy is the magic that happens when people come together and pool in their resources and contribute to each others’ success. We live in a networked world where every person is a resource and potential partner in our success. Associating with positive people, we learn to trust, share, work towards greater achievements, and believe in abundance.
Synergy is what happens when the hare and tortoise join hands to run the race together rather than against each other. The tortoise is slow and the rabbit cannot swim. But together, the hare helps the tortoise on land and tortoise carries the hare in water so that they reach a milestone that is impossible for any one of them.
Thank you for your wonderful article and motivating this response. I am sure this is the beginning of more things to come.
Uday
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See original article:
http://springmagiclife.wordpress.com/2011/06/14/you-are-what-you-think-you-are/
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